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with a broken heart

4 years ago Huela Marta lost her battle to cancer only 6 months after being diagnosed.I can still remember the day we took her into the Urgent care for a bad toothache she had and being told she had a walking pneumonia,I remember the day she was at the hospital because she wasn't getting better and the oncologist coming in and so very sweetly and caring delivered the big C news.Us having to translate to her what it meant and her nodding her head saying "OK,OK" we could tell in her face she thought she was going to do treatment and be ok.But,we knew that stage 4 at her age of 82 was not looking good. I remember her making the best of those months before she got really sick.I spent the last week with her and help take car of her,she fought to the very end we ate together talked laugh, cried and reminisced on all the good times we had together.  She loved her family seeing us happy made her happy.Time hasn't made her absence any easier when I see my little ones running and laughing I think "She would of loved them so much,she would spoiled them rotten" Every time  "Amor eterno" (Eternal Love) comes on everyone scrambles to switch the it off,because it was her favorite song and she wanted it played at Grandpa's  funeral. Every time we start talking about her we end up all chocked up we look the other way and change the conversation. There are days I want to go over and do our yearly shopping spree where she would take forever picking something and at the end of the day she picked the same thing just different color ending the day with going out to eat.She hated me in blonde hair cause she said I was trying to be someone I wasn't and she would tell me I looked ugly,she hated all the "wholes" in my face (piercings) I would just laughed and say "Your just jealous cause you cant wear them" And she will roll her eyes at me.She used to say I didn't feed poor Milton and all I ever gave him was McDonals,and that if she ever came to live with us I would probably would have her in a locked room and be so mean to her, so I always responded sarcastically "Well you better clean the house good and be nice to me and I will let you out of the room". If we  ever were in a bind financially you knew to call her and she was your line of credit.She was our faithful babysitter.I remember running across the yard to my sister Andres's house to tell  it was time to come over cause she was in her last moments and her and all the family rushing into the room were we waited and talked and watched her go home to BIG FEAST she had been talking about for the past week and had already picked her outfit for.

One day I will see her again and one day she will see all my kids and one day there will be no more tears no more sadness but until then my earthly self still loves and misses her so much.

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