Skip to main content

with a broken heart

4 years ago Huela Marta lost her battle to cancer only 6 months after being diagnosed.I can still remember the day we took her into the Urgent care for a bad toothache she had and being told she had a walking pneumonia,I remember the day she was at the hospital because she wasn't getting better and the oncologist coming in and so very sweetly and caring delivered the big C news.Us having to translate to her what it meant and her nodding her head saying "OK,OK" we could tell in her face she thought she was going to do treatment and be ok.But,we knew that stage 4 at her age of 82 was not looking good. I remember her making the best of those months before she got really sick.I spent the last week with her and help take car of her,she fought to the very end we ate together talked laugh, cried and reminisced on all the good times we had together.  She loved her family seeing us happy made her happy.Time hasn't made her absence any easier when I see my little ones running and laughing I think "She would of loved them so much,she would spoiled them rotten" Every time  "Amor eterno" (Eternal Love) comes on everyone scrambles to switch the it off,because it was her favorite song and she wanted it played at Grandpa's  funeral. Every time we start talking about her we end up all chocked up we look the other way and change the conversation. There are days I want to go over and do our yearly shopping spree where she would take forever picking something and at the end of the day she picked the same thing just different color ending the day with going out to eat.She hated me in blonde hair cause she said I was trying to be someone I wasn't and she would tell me I looked ugly,she hated all the "wholes" in my face (piercings) I would just laughed and say "Your just jealous cause you cant wear them" And she will roll her eyes at me.She used to say I didn't feed poor Milton and all I ever gave him was McDonals,and that if she ever came to live with us I would probably would have her in a locked room and be so mean to her, so I always responded sarcastically "Well you better clean the house good and be nice to me and I will let you out of the room". If we  ever were in a bind financially you knew to call her and she was your line of credit.She was our faithful babysitter.I remember running across the yard to my sister Andres's house to tell  it was time to come over cause she was in her last moments and her and all the family rushing into the room were we waited and talked and watched her go home to BIG FEAST she had been talking about for the past week and had already picked her outfit for.

One day I will see her again and one day she will see all my kids and one day there will be no more tears no more sadness but until then my earthly self still loves and misses her so much.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

In the slow lane

It's said that a mother's job is never done no weekends or holidays off. 24/7 all year round. Meetings,Doctor's appointments,school projects,groceries,laundry,meals,and the list goes on.... After years in the fast lane and none stop speeding you get to a point where you run into the slow lane.  No matter how many kisses and snuggles you get it doesn't change the fact that your body is feeling the effects of running on 4 hrs of sleep and the lack of caffeine.No energy left and the house looking like a tornado just crossed through it.Just the thought of the many things that need to be done exhaust you even more. The daily routine becomes a norm and you realize that you have taken the load on yourself and that the people that care for you want to give you a little push and help you carry the load but you don't know how to ask for the help or even let go and accept the help.  How do you let go? How do you ride the slow lane? How do accept a lending  hand?   Lord It'
3 comments
Read more

And her heavy load

25 days ago I started jogging/walking to check the mail,in the evenings. Which is 1/4 of a mile from the house. I jog/walk all the way down and another 1/4 mile to a turn around circle at the end of our street,and walk back home on an incline driveway. It’s my“me time”at the of the day, it challenges me to finish what I started. Every evening I get to run along side a momma deer and her baby. I’ve set 6 weight goals,reach my 1st and one lbs away from my 2nd goal. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done,because I love to be in the comfort of my home,love my food and my AC. 7 years ago I had a VSG (vertical sleeve gastronomy ) done a TOOL to help with weight loss,not the solution but a tool.After a year I reached my goal weight ,and got comfortable and started back on old non healthy habits,this caused half of the weight to come back on.The struggle is real weight loss surgery is not the easy way out ,specially when you have complications after surgery.It’s just a jump start to ge
2 comments
Read more

with soapy dishes & salvation

 Only three days into homeschooling two 7th graders and 3 Kindergarteners, I'am exhausted by 7pm completely drained and ready for bed. But the night is young and I need to catch up with Milton's day and watch some TV together. And actually have an uninterrupted adult conversation. The morning alarm is usually the sound of children running up and down the stairs and yelling out for each other. There's no time for waking up stretching and having a nice hot cup of coffee in a quiet corner, its time to hit the floor running. A few days ago I had mentioned to Milton and my sister Andrea that I was SCARED for Monday to start, cause I didn't know what I was getting into. But, even in that I knew it was going to be ok and I couldn't quit before starting. God had defiantly told us this was what He wanted us to do for this season in our lives. So here we go. Today as we had our worship music playing and I was doing dishes in between teaching, the girls worked on school. Ezeki
Post a Comment
Read more